John Stewart

John Stewart is one of the famous people in this world that I truly admire, respect and adore. And one of the few I think if I met (or when I do) I will be somewhat speechless around. He's SO damn smart. He's my dream man really. Funny, smart, handsome, open-minded (read - Democrat!) and employed! (Bonus on the last one!) He is a comedian, writer, and actor who has turned The Daily Show on Comedy Central into one of the most watched talk shows on TV. But what makes him even cooler in my book is that he KNOWS what he is talking about. He reads. He pays attention. He has opinions, but he says that they are just that. Not that his opinions are facts. But he can back his opinions up with facts! Unlike certain commentators out there these days. Glenn Beck, anybody? 

"Why can't they have gay people in the army?  Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16s going, "Who'd you call a faggot?""

HA! With the announcement of gay marriage becoming legal in NY state this week, I think it's brought gay issues to the forefront of the news again in the best possible way. I mean, hell, even Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck had an on-air conversation this week where they both admitted that gay marriage is not a threat to America. They were certainly saying otherwise in all too recent times! 

As we recently saw Don't Ask, Don't Tell repealed in the US military and it's slowly becoming a reality, I'm hopeful that we are all finally on the right track. Realizing that gay Americans are NOT a threat. They are just people who happen to be attracted to people of the same sex. Who cares?! I mean, really? Why is this news? Why is this a concern?

Unless you give them M16s . . . . and call them names . . . maybe John is onto something there. 

I'd suggest NOT calling anybody with an M16 anything but Mr, Sir, Ma'am. You get my drift. Just to be on the safe side.

Boethius

I sense that my posts this week will be about love, straight or gay. So happy about the news in NY for Gay Marriage!

Boethius was a Roman philosopher in the early 6th century. He wrote Consolation of Philosophy, a philosophical treatise on fortune, death, and other issues. It became one of the most popular and influential works of the Middle Ages.

"Who would give a law to lovers?  Love is unto itself a higher law."

Let me first say that I'm so thrilled that New York State has finally legalized gay marriage.  It's about f'ing time! It's still so sad to me that the rest of the country hasn't caught on, or the rest of the world for that matter. To me, denying rights to people based on sexual orientation is NO worse than denying rights based on sex, color or religion. And we can all agree that to deny rights for any of those reasons is unheard of. It's amazing to me that gay rights are somehow not included in that list to some people. 


However, the fact that marriage, which SHOULD be about love, has anything to do with law is so ridiculous to me. To legalize somebody's right to love . . .seems, well, stupid. To put it lightly. Granted, many marriages go without much love. And many great loves never become a marriage. But the one ideally goes with the other. 


Problem is, it's too late now to separate them. When getting married became something that was noted in town logs, tax books or even bibles, and paying for a marriage license became part of the routine, it became a law. Not just a partnership about love and support.


But what Boethius says is still true. Some states may still be able to deny marriage, but they can't deny love, gay or straight or anything else. And hopefully, if this recent development is any indication, love will triumph over close-minded, bigoted laws that deny it - in any of its many forms.

In the meantime, I HEART NEW YORK!

Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller

I was thinking this morning about who coined the phrase "drink and dial" and this quote seems appropriate given where my head is at.

Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller was a German poet, philosopher, historian and playwright. Beethoven and Goethe were a few of his famous friends and admirers of his work. Beethoven's setting of "An die Freude" (Ode to Joy) was based on one of Schiller's poems.

"When the wine goes in, strange things come out." 
 
Seriously. . . this is SO true. Whether it's the drink and dial, being more carefree, saying too much, whatever - we have all been there. Often we say things we regret, I think. But sometimes there are moments of brilliance. Of clarity. Things you'd never say without a little liquid courage. (There's another phrase I wish I knew where it came from!)

I'd like to thank wine for the latter and curse it for the former this week. Well, not just this week. .

French Proverb

In honor of Father's Day this year. Albeit a few days late.

This one doesn't have a specific owner. Somehow it seems appropriate to have originated on the Upper East Side. . . or just for Generation Y (ala, my generation. . . am I a Y? I don't actually know). But according to my trusty "Harper Book of Quotations" it's a French Proverb.

"A father is a banker provided by nature."

Dad, if you ever read my blog, you will know this one is all too true. Even when I'm not actually asking for financial help, you are generally buying me lunch, giving me cab fare, offering to help with money for headshots, or, oh, paying for college . . . it's a long, long list. Let's not pretend that my mother doesn't also help me out with money. .  but Dad always signs the checks.

It's that joint account thing. Sneaky how Dad gets to take credit.

Love you, Dad!!!

James Patterson

James Patterson is an American bestselling author who writes primarily mysteries and thrillers for adults. I came across this quote in one of my magazines today and I just enjoy it. Plain a simple.

"Knowledge is valuable, but imagination is invaluable."

I often wish I were smarter. Some of my best friends (you know who you are) are positively in the genius category. They have a mathematically, factual understanding of things that I can only dream of. I'm hardly stupid, and I somehow was always near the top of my class, but nowadays, I'm shocked at how little I remember of the silliest things. I was babysitting recently and helping a 10 year old with her math homework. . . and, well, let's just it wasn't pretty.

What I do have though, is a pretty active imagination. Whether it's planning a show, making gifts for friends, singing a song and creating a character in my head, cooking, or just fantasizing about what I want my life to me, my imagination has never been absent. Sometimes more silent and less hopeful, ie lately, but not absent.

You know those people who are book smart, but not street smart? People who can tell you how to solve a math equation, but are socially challenged . . .  I think that's the kind of person this quote is about. Happily, none of my genius friends fall into this category. No matter how often I may tease them otherwise! To be truly happy, you need both knowledge and imagination. But having one without the other is so sad. With only the former, you're boring. With only the latter, you're likely a hot mess and probably unemployed.

Clearly, it's key to have both. And I guess I do have both, but with the former, I can always pay somebody for the knowledge I don't have.

Or use a calculator, in my case!

Comte de Buffon

Georges-Louis Leclerc, Comte de Buffon was a French naturalist, mathematician, cosmologist, and encyclopedic author. He is thought to have been the father of natural history in the 18th Century, before Charles Darwin came onto the scene.

"Never think that God's delays are God's denials. Hold on; hold fast; hold out. Patience is genius."

I joke that patience has never been my finest virtue. So this kind of message is something I constantly need to hear in my life.

I have a dear friend who has a religious faith that I have never had myself. In some ways, our friendship is odd in that we have very different values and morals, but what we share is an honesty, a love and a truth in how we live our lives. I adore her and would do anything for her, and I know the same is true for her. She has told me throughout the years, as I face professional and personal setbacks that it must all be part of God's plan. I just have to be patient. I know she's right, but I wish I could just accept it without so many questions. Sometimes I envy her sense of certainty and comfort that comes from her faith. For better or worse, my constant need to question things doesn't leave me much rest.

All I can do with my fate or God's plan for me (or whatever you want to call it) for now is make plans within reason. I can't just sit and do nothing. Patience is one thing; but I have to be proactive to pay my bills and get out of my apartment! I continue to push myself in my career, find performing opportunities of my own, try to keep an open mind about dating. . . but there are some days that are better than others!

God? Fate? Angels? Whoever has a plan for me, can you please speed things up? Seriously. This slow pace is getting ridiculous.

Sara Bareilles

Sara Bareilles is an amazing singer/songwriter. I was first introduced to her back in 2008 and she has been on repeat in my iTunes ever since. Her voice is gorgeous, but it's her words that really touch me. She's smart, witty, candid and open. She wears her heart on her sleeve. In many ways, my closest friends would probably say I'm a lot like her. She has managed to take those qualities and make them into gorgeous music, a career, an identity. For me, it still feels like a curse to be all those things. It leaves me with a broken heart all too often, either through career or love life.

"All I have, all I need. He's the air I would kill to breathe. Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something. Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again."

I broke down crying today. Again, damn it. I wish it didn't happen. I feel like I failure every time it does. Like I should be able to get past this. I should be able to stop crying. I should be able to move on faster or something. Everybody tells me it will take time, to cut myself some slack, to be nice to myself. But I also know that those same people want me to get past this - for my sanity as well as their own. I think they are as surprised as I am that I am still so sad. As I sat crying tonight, waiting until it passed, I literally found myself saying out loud "When will I be happy again? When will I stop thinking about him?" and this song popped into my head.

I know my ex (I want to stop calling him "my love" like I generally do, since that seems to give him more power) is not ALL I have or all I need. But right now, as I'm stumbling around like a newborn, it sure feels like he was. I would do just about anything for one more moment, one more word, one more smile. But I know it's over. He's gone. There's no use continuing to wish for something that isn't happening.

The way I feel when I break down and cry is like I am actually out of breath. It feels like somebody took away my oxygen. This has shaken me to the core. I'm questioning everything about my life. Every little thing that I ever question or doubt, it's all magnified right now. Maybe because I don't see myself the way he saw me. That reflection of love and adoration that we all seek . . . there's so much support in that. And he came along and gave it to me when I least expected it. And then, just as suddenly, he took it away. There is nothing that can describe that feeling of shock and loss when it ends so quickly and without warning.

If he was my only oxygen, I'd have died long ago. Somehow, I got through the last 31 years without him. So I know I will get through this. Rationally, I know it. Throughout the song (called Breathe Again), Sara keeps saying "Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again." Obviously trying to convince herself. Just like I am doing now. One day it will be true. Right?

I'll breathe again. . . . someday. I hope it's sooner rather than later.

Graham Sutherland

I actually read this quote as I was looking to say something poignant to a dear friend going through a tough time. But after I read it, I realized how much it applies to me and my ex.

"I don't think anyone is free - one creates one's own prison."

Graham Sutherland was an English painter, one of his famous paintings being of the Coventry Cathedral. He actually died the day I was born - Feb, 17th, 1980.

This friend I'm sending loving vibes to had a patient kill herself recently. You can imagine her devastation, feelings of guilt, responsibility and failure. The first thing I said to her is that no matter what she said or did for this person, if the woman really wanted to kill herself, nobody was gonna stop her. If you are seriously considering suicide, you will find a way to do it. It's just a question of when.
But that kind of depression is like a prison. You cannot escape.
Just like some people are happy being unhappy. They are not "free." They are trapped in a situation of their own making - comfortable with what they know, which is unhappiness, guilt, and fear. If that's all you know, then the alternatives must seem scary. And fear seems to be the oppressor of freedom in so many ways.

Check out these definitions of freedom:

1) the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint;

2) exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc;

3) the power to determine action without restraint.

 

It's the third one that really strikes me as something nobody has. Not really. We all have laws governing us, of course, but then there are taxes, bills, spouses, children, jobs, health issues, pets, family obligations. . . are any of us really completely free?

 

I'd think I'm free to be happy, but it's not always easy to do. It's a choice I have to make sometimes. An actual choice to smile, as cheesy as it is. I choose to work at happiness rather than just sit and mope, probably 90% of the time. I'd say that's a good percentage! I'd get an A-!

 

And to my friend who is struggling I still say. .  .that patient of yours was never free. And you did your best. It's not your fault.  

Albert Einstein

I'm still feeling caught in broken-heart-land, but I didn't want to go down too sad a road with my post tonight. Particularly after a week without posting.

Albert Einstein is known as the father of modern physics and one of the most respected and influential intellects of our time. In my experience in quote-land, he also has some GREAT quotes.

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

Ha! How true! Does anybody really want to argue with this one? I mean, really? The man was a genius. I dare you to argue with him.

Even when I feel like I've got it all figured out, some unforeseen situation arises and makes me realize otherwise! This has been coming up for me a lot as I deal with my broken heart, both on my part and his. Though I have to say, since most of this mess is his to be had, was made by him, and mine to feel the results of, it's his stupidity in this case that has been on my mind.

But we are all guilty of it. For as many smart decisions as I make in a day, I swear I make the same number of stupid choices. My favorite thing about this quote though, is that it was said by a genius! It doesn't seem possible that somebody like Albert Einstein could have ever done anything stupid. But I don't think he is leaving himself out of his above quote, which means he must have felt himself capable of doing stupid things.

Moral of my story today is that if Albert Einstein could do anything stupid, I shouldn't beat myself up for "bad" choices I've made too much either. We all make mistakes. If Einstein said this was a certainty, I believe him!